Hi, I’m ManVsLoneliness, though you can call me Man for short. About a year ago, I was in a relationship with someone I had cared about for a long time. The way she left me, the reasons why she told me, and the actual truth of the reality she tried to hide from me, all hurt me very deeply. Relationships have always been a big part of my life, but I’d been hopping from one relationship to another ever since I was a kid in middle school. I realized I’ve never been able to really wrestle with my fear of being alone. So, in part to recover from one more painful relationship, and in part to work on myself and my well-being and growth, I began a mission of a full year, 365 days, of being committedly un-committed. Single and trying to be okay with it.
As I progress through the days I plan on updating this blog with my thoughts and experiences. The successes and defeats, highs and lows as I wrestle not only with this insecurity of being alone but also try to remember, or realize for the very first time, what it is I want and am looking for and desire not from the relationship itself but from someone I want to actually be with. Along the way you may notice that at the bottom of every post there is a counter, one for Man and one for Loneliness. I am Man, and the number next to me are the number of days I’ve felt I’ve won. To be who I want to be without the need for someone else, to realize after some struggle some breakthrough about myself or love or relationships, to be excited and hopeful. The number next to Loneliness are those I’ve lost to some fear or insecurity. To painful memories or longing. To a general sense of no direction.
I hope that somehow my experience will be relevant and helpful for you. Maybe insightful, hopefully humorous at times too. I am also taking this time to really dive into the interests and passions I’ve always had. I want to share my thoughts and opinions and experiences with food, movies, martial arts, and anything and everything else that interests me and drives some passion. I hope to make this blog into a well-rounded, well-developed collection of all sorts of interests and experiences. I promise to be an active participant not only on the blogging side but also in response to you, those of you reading who have found something that resonates here. Feel free to contact me.