It’s funny just how much you all actually know about who I am. You know most of my hobbies, passions, and interests. You know a lot of what I don’t like, because I am more passionate against things than I am for. Hahah. You know my hopes, aspirations, and struggles. I dedicated a month to sharing as much as I could remember of my complicated, rocky relationship and a year to sharing as much as I could remember of my complicated, rocky relationship with ‘relationships’. If my life were conducive to capers, you would have definitely known about those too. My likes, my career, my travels, I’ve shared a lot.
You know how this blog started out of immense heartbreak. How at times when I felt more alone than I ever have, and had nothing but bittersweet memories to keep me awake and afraid at night, I would instead write, opening a vein, bleeding my story out. You know my continued hopes for love and companionship and warmth and connection, and for as much as I myself have figured it out, you know what it is ultimately I am trying to look for. You know how random words or encounters or conversations would light a fire in me and how much I would want to share it here, to see if my thoughts and musings could hold up as well on screen as they do in my head.
But you don’t know my name.
Hello world, my name is Jerel. This is my blog.
There is a chance that there are new readers and new eyes looking at this blog right now. See, I happened to coincide the first post of the new year and my face and personal life reveal with letting friends and family know that I’ve had this, and that they are now welcome to read and be a part of this world. But unlike Man, Jerel has a very minimal and often times unnoticed social presence, so who knows. Hahah. But in the rare case there are, that means some of you are for the first time finding out about this blog, while most of you are for the first time finding out about its author.
Just so you know, Man also has a twitter you can follow at @ManVsLoneliness.
I started this blog as equal parts therapy and exploration. Getting over the past and figuring out the future. I took a year off from relationships and just wanted to focus on figuring out who I am, what I want, what I’m looking for, and why I’ve been such a shitshow trying to find it. In a year’s worth of posts you’re going to find very personal writings about my past relationships, personal reflections on heartbreak and hope, and personal pieces just about who I am, what I love, what I hate, and what I think. The number on the top of the page there, in case you’re wondering, is a score count. As the days went by, I’d take a mental inventory of how it went. My mood, my attitude, my outlook, and I would decide if it was a day to be proud of, happy with, satisfied with, or if it was a day I let my pain, insecurities, or fears get the better of me. Overall, long story short, I didn’t.
But for most of you reading, I’m finding it difficult to think what there is of Jerel there is to share that hasn’t already been a part of Man. I’m 27 years old, I was born and raised and still live in New Jersey with my incredible family and ‘eh’ friends. (Kidding.) I went to elementary, middle school, high school, and college in New Jersey. I hate when people refer to it as ‘dirty Jersey’. I’m left handed and flat footed. I really really want to be able to describe myself as awkward, quiet, reserved, but the truth is I’m awkward, loud, and just a damn good charmer. Hahah.
I don’t get very many opportunities in real life to be as expressive or to share like I do here, though. And that is actually true. I’ve kind of developed all of this train of thought on a parallel path to my regular day to day. But I would like to think, I hope, that a lot of what I’ve learned and realized and grown through has changed me and made me more aware of my personal life. Now that everything, Man and Me, has been combined and integrated I’m hoping to share more of how the thoughts and reflections I share here affect what I do out there.
I’m not entirely sure what will change for the blog, but I do know there won’t be a day count anymore. And I’d like to still keep up a relatively consistent and reliable stream of posts. I may want to explore various other media, if I can find the right equipment. Maybe my personal connections can help with that, as I know some of my other friends and family have blogs or do things with social media. Maybe I’ll just keep posting baby photos because adorableness should get me a few more likes, right?
Outside of this, the future of Me, Man, and this blog are unknown to everyone here. I mean, I’ll keep writing, you’ll just know who the writer is. It’s not gonna affect what I choose to share or how I choose to share it. BUT, I do have a request of you all reading. I do know for a fact that something I’d like to do in the near future is a ‘get to know Me or Man’ kind of thing. I’d love to hear all the questions you might have either about me personally or about the blog or anything really.
I’m hoping I can get a good number of really interesting questions that could lead to something substantial. Readers and subscribers will be able to comment right on here. Those of you who don’t have blogs can email me or Facebook me, if you got to this from there. I really want to compile all these questions and do a project with them. So please please please, ask away!
Here’s something I can share with you guys about my real self. I was born with a full head of hair. Like, crazy amount of hair. And most family have this like, one famous photo of me as a baby with a wild untamed afro of hair. I was, according to some of the older folks at least, kind of an annoying child, pretty hard to handle, so maybe this is why they only remember me a) for my hair and b) before I could speak.