300 miles is a very long distance to drive alone. I find myself increasingly talking to myself during these trips just so I don’t forget how to. At my first store training visit today my voice was actually hoarse from lack of use. I sing, badly, along with the songs on my Spotify. In my room I talk back to the TV characters. a
I think I really miss having someone to talk to.
This job takes a toll on all forms of relationships. I only see my friends once every other week. I only get to spend two nights a week at home. This particular stretch has been rough because of the weekend away in DC. You know at least before when I was just an agent, I worked in one store. I went to the same place every day and spoke with the same people. I had coworkers and relationships with my colleagues. I used to drive one of my coworkers home each night and we’d get to shoot the breeze during the ride. DC made it abundantly clear that I am now a stranger in my own company. Migrating from store to store, state to state, interacting with people for no more than an hour before moving on, I don’t really know any of these people anymore. And they don’t really know me. I had no friends to at least enjoy the city with, and as you well know from the weekend, my plans to spend time with Bird didn’t exactly pan out either.
As you may well also notice from the late posts, I’ve developed a bit of an extreme case of insomnia as well. I can’t fall asleep in a quiet room after such a quiet day. I keep the television on so that the room can at least be filled with the ambient noise of other people’s scripted conversations. I found out that when sleeping in a new city in new accommodations for the very first time, our bodies don’t ever fully lower its guard. One hemisphere of the brain stays awake while the other rests and they alternate. Because of this, you don’t actually get a deep recuperative REM sleep your first night in a new place. Which for me is every night. Sleep has been difficult, to say the least.
I’ve also started playing Pokemon Go as a means of getting outside my hotel room and exploring. It’s also been a great way to make brief connections. Back in DC I made friends with one of the National Portrait Gallery’s guards. He thought I was lost. Then realized I was just walking around being led by my Pokemon radar and told me where to find a few in the museum. Met a couple guys doing the same too. Then there was the guard who was concerned I was taking pictures. Hahah. At least Psyduck can keep me company while Law and Order plays in the background all night.
Cherish the relationships and the people you have around you. Ask them how their day was. Share at least one interesting story that happened to you. Ask a question and care about their answer.
I can’t wait to have someone to talk and share with again.
Man: 11 Loneliness: 4